Academic Weaponry

I used to be the girl who’d open her laptop, blink twice, and suddenly it was three hours later and I’d accomplished nothing except memorizing every detail of a stranger’s Instagram feed. My brain was basically in sleep mode. Cute, but useless.

So it’s the beginning of the semester. You’ve got syllabi, class group chats, club meetings, 1,000 unread emails, and at least one panic purchase sitting in your Amazon cart labeled “college essentials.” You’re overwhelmed. But also deeply committed to being That Girl—you know, the one with the color-coded planner, matching highlighters, and a vague sense of control. This is how I fake that I have my life together at the start of every semester. It’s messy. It’s extra. And it